Becoming a parent and having your first child is a gift beyond measure. It's the most challenging and beautiful time of your life. The thing/person you love most in this world is here and your heart now lives outside your body. You are trying to figure out the best ways to care for this little human and your days can sometimes feel lonely, hectic, and long. Trust me, we've all been there. The days were long. The nights were sometimes even longer. And the years, they were SO short.
Motherhood is an adventure and the fulfillment of being your baby's mom is unmatched. Here are some pieces of advice that we've learned that we wish we knew as first-time moms.
Don't Compare
Moms, I know how hard this can be. Trust me. Above all else you want the best for your little ones and can't help but ask yourself if you are doing enough. There were plenty of times I can remember specifically that I found myself comparing my child's developmental milestones to those of others. The truth is everyone is different. I remind myself often that my child is never ahead or behind. They are right where they are supposed to be. <3
This goes for you adults too. As moms, we've never had so much direct access to other moms' lives. We see their cute kids, their picture-perfect home, their thriving relationships, and it can all seem so perfect. As moms in the social media era, there's a constant battle against comparing yourself. It's normal and it's not just a struggle for you. Simply try to remember we have all been there, you are a good mom doing the best you can for your child.
Don't Try To Be Perfect
Again as 21st-century moms, we battle seeing seemingly perfect lives online every day. We often don't see their sleepless nights, messiness, or chaotic moments. We battle internally if we should be more lenient on the bedtime to catch up with your friends at dinner once in a while or stay home to ensure you are building healthy and consistent habits.
But realistically, you can't be perfect all the time. Parenthood takes some sacrifice but doesn't have to take all your spontaneity! Take the trip! Go to dinner. Push bedtime. Nap on the go. Allow your children to simply fill into your life and make it brighter. Those memories will be more important in the end.
Don't Be Afraid to Ask For Help
Don't be afraid to ask for help from your partner, family, friends, or your doctor if you're feeling overwhelmed. I remember feeling like I needed to do it all and prove to myself and others I could be a good mom.
Statistics indicate a very high percentage of moms experience postpartum blues, following childbirth. Estimates range from 50% to 75% according to the Cleveland Clinic. A 2023 study by Oath Care found that a staggering 66% of parents reported experiencing burnout of some kind. All extremely normal feelings that are important to be aware of.
Accepting help is a sign of strength and self-awareness. It shows that you prioritize your well-being and your children's well-being. Find a community of moms. Speak to a therapist. Find your village.
Parenthood can be messy and unpredictable, and finding solutions that work within your circumstances is key.
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